Space Money Octagon Presents
The Filmography Disquisition Series
Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination
Episode 9: In The Land of Women (2007)
Lucy is a disaffected moody Michigan youth, who lives with her mom and dad and younger sister in the suburbs. One day, while smoking on the roof, she spots some goober who is new to town comically struggling to take out the garbage across the street. After meeting, Lucy confides in the sad older boy that her parents didn’t know she smokes and that he must keep it a secret. He agrees after bumming a smoke.
The next day, Lucy argues with her mom over a proposal to invite the new guy over for dinner, as her mom wants to welcome him to the neighborhood. Complicating the situation is her mother’s recent breast cancer diagnosis, which has strained the whole family’s emotional health and none of them are really talking about it.
Lucy finally agrees to show the new guy – who is like a sad puppy and taking care of his ill grandmother – around town. Naturally, they – along with her kid sister – go to the mall to bum around and eat junk food and watch movies starring leggy bombshells from the future. Also, there’s some dude who works at Orange Julius who Lucy likes, but is too reserved to express it.
Lucy and the sad older boy develop a sister/older brother brother vibe, as she seeks guidance on how to navigate her mother’s illness, hey father’s infidelity, and her complicated teen feelings about boys and life and stuff. After an uncomfortable talk about her past and her current problems of bring emotionally unavailable for her family, a flustered and mixed up Lucy kisses the older sad boy, which is a terrible idea. He leaves, saying there can never be anything between them, and Lucy is left rudderless and confused.
Lucy is later finally able to talk with her mom about everything that’s been going on and her fears of losing her. Fortunately, Lucy’s mom recovers and all is well. Lucy even mends fences with sad old boy, coming to understand that they are world’s apart and can never be romantic. Oh also, she finally hooks up with Orange Julius dude from the mall.
Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what’s the best movie Blake Lively’s ever been in?
In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart move of all time.
They will watch – in chronological order – every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.
- Panic Room
- The Messengers
- The Safety of Objects
- Fierce People
- Cold Creek Manor
- Catch That Kid
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org (emails may be read on the show)
Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)
Music: Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 – I. Allegro
performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra
Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/
Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/
Intro voice: @iamastove
This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast