Space Money Octagon Presents
The Filmography Disquisition Series
Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination
Episode 7: Zathura (2005)
Lisa is a moody, sleep positive teen, whose fun and carefree life is thrown askew by having to babysit her two younger brothers when their dad must head to work unexpectedly. Soon after dad leaves, Lisa is informed by her brothers that their house has been transported to space, thanks to Zathura – a magical board game they found in the basement. A skeptical Lisa is soon frozen as the game places her in cryo-sleep. She awakens 5 turns later, unaware of what has transpired. Cold and still groggy from from her slumber, she turns up the thermostat and grabs a shower. When she finally reunites with her brothers downstairs, she is shocked to find that the kitchen is on fire and also that the house is indeed in space – and being chased by aliens!
She soon is brought up to speed on the whole situation and becomes acquainted with a strangely handsome astronaut – a player who’s been stuck in space for 15 years. After fending off the invaders, the last of which Lisa kills with a piano, the group gathers to finish the magic board game. As the final turn approaches, IT’S REVEALED THAT THE SPACEMAN IS ACTUALLY ONE OF HER BROTHERS WHO HAS BEEN STUCK IN A PARADOX IN THE GAME FOR 15 YEARS. Once that weirdness has passed, the family finishes the game and are sucked into a black hole! Lisa and her brothers awaken back home, as if no time had transpired. As they head out to visit their mother, Lisa and the boys agree to carry the secret of Zathura to the grave.
Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what’s the best movie Blake Lively’s ever been in?
In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart move of all time.
They will watch – in chronological order – every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.
- Panic Room
- The Safety of Objects
- Fierce People
- Cold Creek Manor
- Catch That Kid
Contact: email@example.com (emails may be read on the show)
Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)
Music: Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 – I. Allegro
performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra
Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/
Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/
Intro voice: @iamastove
This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast