Space Money Octagon Presents
The Filmography Disquisition Series
Blake Lively: An Exhaustive Examination
Episode 11 – Savages (2012)
O is a cool beach lady with a flair for dramatic voice overs, sex in waterfront houses, smoking dope, and polyamorous relationships. She shares business and pleasure with Ben and Chon in Laguna Beach – the home of their lucrative weed business.
One night at dinner, O learns her boys have made plans for them all to get out of increasingly dangerous weed game and head to Indonesia. However, before their plans come together, O is kidnapped by a Mexican cartel. She’s used as a bargaining chip to force her drug boys to take a deal that sees them supplying weed to less than reputable businessmen. Then the deal gets even worse, as the big bad cartel lady declares that O will be held for one year and that they’ll have to give more money to her.
While in captivity, O is bound (but not the sexy way), and kept barely alive under the creepy and abusive eye of Benicio Del Toro. Sometimes, though, she gets steak.
O appeals to the motherly instincts of the cartel lady, earning herself some better treatment as she waits for her drug boyz to hatch a rescue plan. During dinner with the cartel lady, they bond over hopes for the future and a better life for their loved ones.
Their developing friendship hits a snag, though, when O is forced to watch a cartel torture and murder. Things really take a bad turn when O’s drug boyz kidnap the cartel lady’s daughter and set up a prisoner exchange. The exchange falls apart, but not in a dramatic shoot out way like you’d think. The DEA shows up and arrests the cartel lady, while O and her boiz get a sweet informant protection deal. Everything’s fine now and O recovers from her trauma in a nice resort-like community.
Film rankings thus far:
1. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
2. The Town
3. Elvis and Anabelle
4. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee
5. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
7. Green Lantern
9. Simon Says
10. New York I Love You
Join Vanessa and Toben on an academic and well-researched quest to answer one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what’s the best movie Blake Lively’s ever been in? During volume one of this series, they will watch – in chronological order – every single major motion picture featuring the actress Blake Lively. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Blake Lively movies will be determined, until the inevitable conclusion.
Contact: email@example.com (emails may be read on the show)
Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)
Music: Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 – I. Allegro
performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra
Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/
Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/
Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)
This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast