Film Disquisition Volume 1: Blake Lively: An Exhaustive Examination; Episode 10: Hick (2011)

Space Money Octagon Presents
The Filmography Disquisition Series
Volume 1
Blake Lively: An Exhaustive Examination

Episode 10 – Hick (2011)
Glenda is a strong, independent, southern woman who smokes, and pees standing up – who one day crosses paths with a runaway teen girl. She offers her a ride, sage wisdom about dangerous men, and also drugs to snort.
Soon Glenda and her teen protege are robbing a general store and lying to the cops about how the clerk died. That night, at a bowling alley, teen girl is introduced to Glenda’s young kid. Glenda, who has a heart of gold, let’s teen girl crash on the couch for the night.
The next morning, they’re off at sunrise for another adventure – meeting Glenda’s rich husband, who looks like a hippie Joe Biden from 30 years ago. Glenda’s husband has a new bartender and courier, who apparently knows teen girl.
Glenda disappears as teen girl and courier man head out to run errands. Glenda reappears later and we learn she’s been searching for teen girl, who has been kidnapped by the courier man who is actually a terrible monster. Glenda reveals that the terrible man is her kid’s father, and that she was victimized much like teen girl is now.
As Glenda tries to help teen girl escape, creepo monster courier man shows up and begins threatening them with a gun. Tragically, Glenda is killed in the confrontation, but her final act allows teen girl to escape.

 

Film rankings thus far:
1. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
2. The Town
3. Elvis and Anabelle
4. The Private Lives of Pippa Lee
5. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
6. Accepted
7. Green Lantern
8. Simon Says
9. New York I Love You

 

Series overview:
Join Vanessa and Toben on an academic and well-researched quest to answer one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what’s the best movie Blake Lively’s ever been in? During volume one of this series, they will watch – in chronological order – every single major motion picture featuring the actress Blake Lively. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Blake Lively movies will be determined, until the inevitable conclusion.

Contact: filmdisq@gmail.com (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa (http://twitter.com/the_virago) and Toben (http://twitter.com/pursuedbyabeard)

Music: Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 – I. Allegro
performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Record start sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/
Fireplace sound effect: https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice: @iamastove (twitter.com/iamastove)

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast