Film Disquisition Vol 2 Ep 17: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Space Money Octagon Presents
The Filmography Disquisition Series
Volume 2
Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)
Bella Swan is back, and it’s her birthday! Now a moody 18 year old, Bella is worried of aging out of her relationship with Edward the vampire. One night, Bella gets a paper cut in front of a whole family of vampires and almost gets eaten. This incident spooks Edward and he decides Bella would be safer and better off without him and his vampire family around. Bella is heartbroken by this, and decides to lay down in the forest and die. Fortunately, she’s saved by a cool shirtless dude who’s definitely not a werewolf. For months after, Bella is a wreck, isolating herself and wallowing in her loneliness. One day, she discovers that engaging in social activities with friends makes her less sad and lonely, so does that for a while… until she crosses paths with a dangerous motorcyclist and is warned off by a vision of Edward. In an effort to glimpse her lost love, Bella gets into extreme sports like cliff diving and dirt biking. This works for a while, but eventually she no longer craves the sight of Edward because of her growing relationship with Jacob – a friend who is a boy and a mechanic and a werewolf. Bella’s not really sure if she’s ready to love again, but after having her life saved by a pack of werewolves, she warms up to the idea a bit… until Edward’s sister returns and takes Bella to Rome, so she can stop Edward from killing himself because thinks another vampire killed Bella. Bella and Edward are finally reunited, then almost immediately nearly killed by the vampire council, because it turns out Bella is immune to the magic powers of the vampire council and they don’t like that. The council is appeased by a last minute announcement – Bella will be turned into a vampire and join Edward’s family. This decision is complicated by two key issues – Edward doesn’t really want Bella to become a vampire despite her repeated stated desire to be turned, and her becoming a vampire will also reignite a war between the vampires and werewolves of Washington state. Eventually, Edward agrees to turn Bella… on one condition…

Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what’s the best movie Blake Lively’s ever been in?

In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart movie of all time.

They will watch – in chronological order – every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.

Current Rankings:

  1. Speak
  2. Adventureland
  3. Zathura
  4. Panic Room
  5. Twilight
  6. The Yellow Handkerchief
  7. The Messengers
  8. The Safety of Objects
  9. Fierce People
  10. In The Land of Women
  11. Into The Wild
  12. Cold Creek Manor
  13. Catch That Kid
  14. The Cake Eaters
  15. Jumper
  16. What Just Happened
  17. Undertow

Contact: filmdisq@gmail.com (emails may be read on the show)

Hosts: Vanessa  and Toben 

Music: Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 – I. Allegro
performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra

Sound effects: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/
https://www.freesound.org/people/juskiddink/sounds/215658/

Intro voice performance: @iamastove

This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast

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