Space Money Octagon Presents
The Filmography Disquisition Series
Kristen Stewart: An Exhaustive Examination
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
Bella Swan, a prospective University of Alaska student, is still in high school and her 100 year old vampire boyfriend Edward wants to marry her. Bella’s pretty cold to that idea, though, as she doesn’t believe marriage is worth any more than the piece of paper the marriage certificate is printed on. Also, she’d rather just be a cool, immortal vampire. With graduation coming up quick, Bella finds her attention divided between her studies, Edward, and visiting her mom in Florida. Bella is also being targeted by a vengeful lady vampire, but she’ll worry about that after she straightens things up with her estranged wolfman friend Jacob. This proves challenging as Jacob’s enmity toward vampires has grown stronger and he’s really getting pushy about the whole “Bella, don’t become a vampire before you’ve considered all the alternatives” thing. Soon, though, Bella brings the vampire and werewolf clans of Forks, Washington, into an uneasy alliance based on all the trouble she’s at the center of. With the vampires busy tracking an unknown threat and keeping watch for the vengeful lady vampire, Bella is left under the protection of Jacob and his wolf buds. This breaks bad pretty quickly, though, when Jacob decides Bella has no agency in her relationship with Edward and forces a kiss upon her in an effort to convince her of his love for her. After breaking her fist on Jacob’s face, Bella returns home and continues planning her eventual vampiric transition. During a graduation party, she kind reconciles with Jacob but is soon distracted by a warning of an impending invasion of newborn vampires. With only days to prepare, Bella takes stock of her priorities and, after a heart to heart with dad about marriage, reconsiders Edward’s proposal. On the day of the big battle, Bella is whisked away to the top of a mountain for safety… but almost freezes to death because no one thought about how cold the top of a mountain might be. After some life-saving cuddles from Jacob, Bella finds herself facing down death again when the vengeful lady vampire arrives. A well-timed distraction by Bella turns the tide of the battle, ending the threat to Bella and her friends…for now.
Join co-hosts Vanessa and Toben on a quest that began (in Volume 1) with one of the most pressing cinematic questions of our time: what’s the best movie Blake Lively’s ever been in?
In Volume 2, Vanessa and Toben seek to determine the best Kristen Stewart movie of all time.
They will watch – in chronological order – every major motion picture featuring the actress Kristen Stewart. At the end of each episode, an updated ranking of Kristen Stewart movies will be determined using a refined academic and scientific process.
- Welcome to the Rileys
- The Runaways
- The Twilight Saga: New Moon
- Panic Room
- The Yellow Handkerchief
- The Messengers
- The Safety of Objects
- Fierce People
- In The Land of Women
- Into The Wild
- Cold Creek Manor
- Catch That Kid
- The Cake Eaters
- What Just Happened
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org (emails may be read on the show)
Music: Mozart’s Bassoon Concerto in B Flat Major, K. 191 – I. Allegro
performed by the Skidmore College Orchestra
Sound effects: https://www.freesound.org/people/Corsica_S/sounds/174771/
Intro voice performance: @iamastove
This was actually a terrible idea for a podcast